Another Mistake

I got into trouble with God for that last entry about the Big Brother 2007 house mates I’m afraid.  I offered to delete it but God said to leave it and write this entry to balance it.

Sometimes I tend to push God aside.  I get sidetracked by day-to-day rubbish, forget about walking with God at all times, and strut off alone.  At times like that I tend to get very arrogant and smug.  I secretly, or not so secretly at times, pat myself on the back about how clever I am and tend to vastly over estimate my own importance.

The previous entry about the reality show, Big Brother, is a classic example of such a time.

I wrote it, posted it, patted myself on the back about my insight and forgot it.  Over the next day or two I waited to see if people would comment on how clever I am but then the thrill of “unmasking” fake people wore off and I forgot about it.

The next time I checked my stats and saw the name of the entry a quiet voice spoke into my mind.  I can’t always tell when my thoughts are mine and when it is God speaking to me but this time I’m sure it was God.  I can usually tell by the surprise I get and the effect it has on me.

He always speaks gently.  He is always reasonable, calm and non-judgmental but sometimes his simple little questions drop into my mind like a big boulder in a small pool of calm water.  There is a splash and, as they sink in, they send ripples of meaning through my conscious mind.

“Was that REALLY necessary?”  God asked me about posting that entry and left me to work out what He meant by the question.

It didn’t take long.  I quickly began asking myself some fairly hard questions such as What benefit is there to anyone in me saying negative things about people I don’t even know?  On the other hand, what harm might it do?  Suppose I am right about that housemate being gay and faking heterosexuality because her family does not know.  Do I really believe exposing her and subjecting her family to distress could be considered the work of a loving God?  Do I really think it is God’s will for me to do something that could tear a family apart?

I came to the conclusion that God had nothing to do with that entry whatsoever.  I realised the harm it could do and debated taking it down but God pointed out that I am not that big a fish.  Chances are the entry will never amount to anything given the reaction there has been to it so far.  If anything I may end up looking even worse than I do now when it turns out I was operating outside the will of God and got it completely wrong!

I was being a bitch in that Big Brother entry and I apologise but one of the main messages I want this website to spread is that you really don’t have to be perfect for God to love you.

If people do not see my imperfections it will be harder for them to believe that message if I say it.  God loves me.  Warts and all.  He loves all of us that way.

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