The next lesson God taught me was that HE doesn’t let bad things happen – WE do!
Have you ever had an impulse? Has a little stray thought ever popped into your head saying something like “you should walk to the shop for the milk this time” or maybe “why don’t you go the long way home today”? If you have ever had such little thoughts pop into your mind did you follow through and walk to get the milk or take the long route home? I always try to follow those little whims and impulses now. I have done so ever since I asked God why he lets bad things happen and He gave me an answer.
One day I read in the news that the body of a two year old girl had been found at the bottom of an elevator shaft. Someone had raped her then he threw her body away like a dirty tissue.
I went ballistic. I confronted God and said “Why did you let that happen?” I said I don’t WANT an answer to this question – I NEED an answer! I told God I cannot, I will not, worship a God who stands by and allows an innocent baby to endure such horror!
I told God if he was as powerful as he claimed to be there was no excuse for him to stand by and just let that happen.
I could feel Gods pain as he answered me.
“I did not stand by”, he said, “I was with her every moment. I built shock and the ability to disconnect mind from body into the human system to help my children at such times. My little one went into shock so she suffered less than you might think. I did everything I could to help and save her.”
I swore at God. I said that’s bullshit! I said you could have made the rapist drop dead or transported him to the other side of the world – you can part the sea and send down plagues so you could have stopped him.
God said there is one thing he cannot do. He cannot override our free will. He could not stop Eve from eating the apple. He could not stop Adam from giving in to temptation and nothing has changed since then.
He told me he was forced to part the sea and send down plagues to convince one man to do one thing – let His people go. What He could not do was interfere with that man’s ability to resist God’s will!
Then God told me all the things he had done to try and stop the little girl from being raped.
“I tried to make the rapist change his mind but his mind was closed to my voice. He refused to listen to me.
I tried to make the child turn around and go home but she was too young to listen to me.
I prompted the child’s mother to go looking for her but she put it off.
I spoke to every single person in the entire block of flats and not one of them listened to me. Not one of them obeyed the impulse to act that I put into them.
One woman told herself the child was not her responsibility and she ignored her impulse to take her home.
A man was too tired to go get the milk when I suggested it so he did not run into the rapist. If he had run into the rapist, if any of the people I tried to make step outside their doors had run into him, I could have made him afraid of being identified and he would have left the child alone.
I tried to save my little one but nobody would listen to me. In the end all I could do was suffer beside her.
There is only one thing that can tie my hands – human free will. My hands were tied that day. I was as helpless as my little one.”
I was crying by then. The sadness and pain I could feel in the voice that spoke into my mind was overwhelming. Then the voice spoke again and this time there was anger. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and a chill ran down my spine as the voice spoke.
“Know this – What he did to her he also did to me. I felt everything she felt and more because I do not go into shock. I am not able to dissociate. I was with her every single second and you cannot begin to imagine what I am going to do to him when the time comes.
I tell you this – what I am going to do to him will make you weep tears of pity for him! Vengeance is mine and he will pay. Have no doubt about that. He only thinks he got away with what he did. They all just think they get away with sin but there is a price and they WILL have to pay it.”
The answer satisfied me but God decided to let me see the truth of it.
Soon after this conversation my Mother came to visit me. She told me she had been having a bad time and was feeling unloved so she prayed. She said she got on her knees and begged God to give her a sign that He loved her. She asked Him to send one of her friends to visit her as proof of His love. She wanted to know He was listening to her and a visit from a friend would prove to her God did listen and did care but nobody came and she was devastated.
The next day one of her friends did visit. The friend told my mother she had come because she felt God saying my mother needed her. She said she felt it the day before but she had so many things to do she had put the visit off.
My Mother took comfort from knowing God had tried to answer her prayer so no harm was done by the friend putting off doing what God had prompted her to do.
That was not the case for the little girl in the elevator shaft.
That particular lesson from God was one of the most powerful ones I have had.
God does not stand by and LET bad things happen – WE do!
For a follow up on this entry see Why does God permit illness and disease?