Add up the scores from each section and transfer them below for a Grand Total score.
Grand Total for You ________ Grand Total for the Other Person ________
Minimum score is 0 and maximum score is 600
Once again, the higher the score, the more abusive the person is being.
If you are offended, annoyed, alarmed, insulted or angry about how high your final score, or your partners final score, is and you think I am prejudiced, exaggerating, or being stupid, unfair, or unreasonable about how I decided to score the items you may substitute 1’s for every score of 5 and 2’s for every score of 10 (provided you do the same with the other person’s scores) and recalculate the final scores.
If you decide to do that to reduce your own score you must add 1000 to the new final score because you are showing yourself to be so hard-core abusive you cannot even be honest with yourself about what you are doing!
If you decide to do that to reduce the other persons score you must add 1000 to their new final score because it means the other person has brainwashed you so completely you no longer even have the ability to be honest with yourself about how abusive they are!
The bottom line remains the same – the higher the score the more abusive the person.
You have completed the questionnaire and seen the scores and you are feeling any one of a number of things. Disbelieving, offended, angry, worried, accepting or something in between.
The next step is to educate yourself about these different types of abuse so you will have a clearer understanding of just what you, or the other person, is doing and why it is considered abusive.
You can search the internet for articles and I’d also encourage you to buy a book called “The verbally abusive relationship: How to recognise it and how to respond” by Patricia Evans.
Once you have read up on abuse you might want to take the questionnaire again. Your scores might be different after you have educated yourself and, if so, the new scores are likely to be more accurate than the previous ones.
Thank you for reading and I encourage you to seek help now, or as soon as you can, because abuse is not OK and it tends to just get worse if left untreated.