The aim of this wall is to give those who do have a reason to go on living a chance to share their reason with those who have none of their own. With your help we might be able to give suicidal people something to help them carry on. Maybe they can take your reason for living and use it as a reason to keep going themselves.
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Every day there are thousands of people all over the world who can’t think of a single good reason to go on living. Each human being is unique, one of a kind, totally irreplaceable and suicide is a dreadful waste of human potential. Help is available. The suicidal person just needs to live long enough to find it but that can be hard to do when you feel nobody cares and there is no hope.
If you are suicidal, read the wall, know it was created to give you encouragement, a bit of hope or the incentive you need to keep trying. Know that every person who added their own reason to live here was thinking of you and added it in the hope it would help you go on in the face of your despair and exhaustion.
Know that people DO care, you DO matter, you CAN be helped and call your doctor, a counsellor or your local suicide help line.
Reach out and touch someone today.
But what if I'm wrong, what if it is like that mouse story where the two fell in a bucket of milk and they swam and swam and swam and the one just couldn't go on any longer and gave up and drowned --- but just then a blob of butter--from their kicking the milk-- came floating to the top and the other got out. What if I'm wrong what if something worth living for is just right around the corner--if I just keep going. It would really suck if my dream was really coming next week and I gave up tonight. What if I'm wrong.
even if I am dying, until He calls me.
As Paul said, in Philippians 3...
"Brethren, I count not myself
to have apprehended:
(finished His work in my life)
but this one thing I do,
forgetting those things
which are behind,
and reaching forth unto
those things which are before,
I press (on!) toward the mark for
the prize of the high calling
of God in Christ Jesus."
- I think my life goal is to help animals, I'm here leave the world a little bit of a better place for nature. I feel like I'm supposed to do that and also use my talents etc to add something to the world.
- I cannot hurt my family in that way. I just can't.
- I feel like suicide won't solve my problems, I think they'll just start over. I have to deal with this life and live it to the end. Even though if eel unbearable.
"The problem with this wall is there isn't a single reason on there for a atheist with no family"
I KNOW! Same boat. It's lonely being atheist with no family. (I imagine most people who find themselves with no family end up questioning the existence of any kind of god). Imagine being Black and atheist! Unheard of. Anyway
ONE reason is enough. Just find ONE reason. How about this one: "I am curious about what will happen in the future". My mum never got to see Clinton become President. Never got to experience the Internet (she would have loved it).
No matter how crap the day-to-day stuff is, I'd still hate to miss out on the big news just because I gave up on the daily drudge. And what about all the people who will never get to experience You? You are obviously an intelligent person. Why deny the world your unique point of view?
Reason to live varies from time to time in my life. Live to eat or eat to live. Live to overcome problem faced. Live to do what we want. Live because my parents bought me here, if given a choice, would I like to live and do I live it all out and for what?
My reasons determine by my input. And it shape my thought and action.
Live your life according to the purposes you were being created.
Live according to how you were being created and its purpose, make sense isn't?
Let me live again and I will do it better. I'll leave behind what is in the past and look forward the future.
From now onwards, I'll live my according to how my creator created me because he knows what is best for me.
Stay calm and allow him to direct me. Relax and rest assured in his plan for me.
I may have been abandoned by my parents at birth and raised by an adoptive woman, but I am unique like no one else. I have value. I must in order to exist in this enormous UNIVERSE, otherwise why else am I here? Maybe I don't see my "purpose of being" at the moment, but what if I find that RIGHT person in the near future? To leave this miserable relationship, move to a new city, and actually take the time to SEE a new world with new opportunities! The so-called friends and family around me who belittle me and don't support me emotionally-- I have to forgive them, and myself -- and I have to become WHOLE again by being true to ME. Now. For the future. I'm only 42, but that doesn't mean life has to come to an end, now. WHAT IF I met a woman (me being a man) who actually understood me, wanted to listen to me, who didn't make me feel emasculated, and who would not only be a friend, but a companion into the future? Maybe the pain I'm feeling and the low self-esteem would disappear once I leave my marriage and "reboot" my life, elsewhere. To see life IS worth living. To know there is LIFE outside of the "prison" I have been in all these years. To be able to stand tall, as a real human being with self-worth and self-respect, and to look forward to EACH day knowing that some days won't be as good as others, but at least I will have the OPPORTUNITY to TRY and make a positive difference in MY life. The life this amazing universe has given me for a brief moment in time! I cannot squander it-- I MUST live today, and tomorrow. I MUST pursue my passions, my dreams, goals, and embrace this life!
I haven't been feeling well for several months, not caring if I live or die and being accepting of any diagnosis that a doctor may give me. Being miserable and depressed has sucked the life out of me. Not caring for myself. Letting myself gain unneeded weight. Trying to mask the pains in my body with pain medication and topical ointments. Without a reason to live, I didn't care about going to a doctor-- perhaps a terminal illness would bring this all to a tidy end. But then I think about this universe being what it is, and the fact I EXIST in it for some reason beyond my limited comprehension. I MUST be here for a reason, so I should make an appointment to see my doctor for a routine annual checkup to investigate the aches and pains. To treat a disease early enough so I CAN go on living MY life as I said in the earlier paragraph. And, if the pain is not treatable, then to look at each sunrise and sunset with awe; to LOOK at the world around me and appreciate whatever time I may have left on this Earth, and not be sad because it can end but to know I had a chance to experience it firsthand. But! If the doctor gives a clean bill of health, and suggests I exercise (yoga, stretching, running, swimming, whatever) and make a healthy diet choices, then I should take a relaxing breath, smile, and be thankful for the second chance of experiencing life as I NEED to. I will look back at the first paragraph and see what changes I need to make, and make them! I will look at life with new eyes and take back control of my life! It is MY life! I need to take life one day at a time and enjoy whatever time I have on this planet... And, it's a pretty AMAZING planet to be on! Go out and experience this Earth, and enjoy your life! Don't let nobody tell you that you can't do something-- you want something, then GO GET IT! Period. (from Chris Gardner, "The Pursuit of Happyness" movie).
Now-- Carpe Diem! SEIZE THE DAY!
My life feelings like this: wake up, eat, watch tv, eat, consider going for a walk, eat, shower, work, (waitress at a bar), eat, sleep, repeat. There has to be more to life than this...
On January 31st 2012, shahriyar wrote on this wall, "to smile without any hidden agenda"... Yes. That is my reason today. Smiling just feels so darn good. And I love when someone can't help but smile when he/she sees someone smiling. Thank you Shahriyar.
Not matter your situation, just think, somewhere, someone has it much worse than you and yet they're holding onto life by whatever means necessary.
Don't waste your life when you can be helping them!
== a poem I wrote years ago ==
maybe I haven't found the right words to say
cuz my suicide note woulda been signed today
- Neal Visher
Because I'm afraid of what would happen if I was successful killing myself.
Because I'm afraid of what would happen if I was unsuccessful.
Because my parents marriage would fall apart if they lost another child.
Because my family would blame themselves.
Because I want to see what the future holds.
Because if I'm dead I would have solved nothing.
Because you only get one chance at life.
Because if I kill myself evil has won.
Because I want to see what I can accomplish.
Because my dogs wouldn't understand and may feel abandoned.
Because I don't want my spirit to be trapped in a state of unrest.
Because I don't want my family to find me dead.
Because I don't want my family to have to pay for a funeral.
Because I want to feel the summer sun again.
Because I want to take my puppies camping and to the farmers market.
Because I want to travel around the world.
Because I want to just once finish a writing a book.
Because I want to learn to surf, snowboard, go deep sea diving, jump out of an airplane.
Because I would be setting a horrible example for my God children.
Because the kingdom of God is within me and i don't want to desecrate this temple.
Because I want to be a mom one day.
Because I love my family.
They look down on you and are wishing you to get up and be the best you can be.
My father, Michael Troy Wade. RIP. Without me to share his stories of his life, he truly would be dead. But he is alive and well in the hearts of many now, and I won't stop until he's immortal.
Danniel Bales, my best friend, and brother. He passed away unexpectedly 2 weeks after my father died. At that point I'd have gladly left the earth to go with him. But I made him a promise when we were both healthy and happy. I promised him I'd die of old age. And that gives me reason to live. I also will make him immortal before my time is through.
My fiance. Even if she left me tomorrow, for her I'll live on. Because I promised her that I would never stop fighting for the things I believe in so long as the world still needs a change.
My grandparents. Because they lost a son already, they shouldn't have to bear the pain of loosing me as well.
Computers. I love these things. Everything about them, the good and the bad, even when they don't work right. I love them most when I can put new parts in. lol.
The random strangers who come by just in the nick of time and help me out. Like in the restaurant the other day when my gift card failed and they paid for my meal. Goodness in others is a rare find, but seeing it makes me realize there is hope left.
My jeep. Because without me, someone else would have tossed it into a junk yard somewhere and gave up on it. I'm the idiot who keeps trying to make it right.
Cigarettes, the menthol kind. Pepsi. Incense.
My best friend Joel Dixon, and his fiance and his roommate. Because without me they wouldn't have any true friends.
For anyone who reads this and is in need of a reason to live on. I'll live on for you as well. I know we likely never met, I know we likely never will. But I care. I don't care what you've done or where you're from. What I care about, is that you are. I care, because your life is precious, and we all have a part to play, grand or small. Find your part. Will you please?
But then it all began with...
One early morning,
my sister decides to leave me and my family regardless of my pleading and begging for her to stay
she LEFT! I did not know why she left?! I cried so much. I was scared to the point of losing her.
She did not leave any contacts.
I tried to look for her everywhere but could not find her.
Besides our little sister fights every now and then i still love her alot.
I miss her so so much. I panicked and cried so hard at the thought of not seeing her again.
I wonder.. Where is she now? What is she doing?
I wish to see her even just for one time!
I cried and cried then suddenly I woke up!
Tears continue running down my cheeks.
I was still crying until a short moment later I realized it was all just a Dream...
It felt so real.
I pinched myself and yes it hurts a little.
I thanked God it was only a dream.
Straight away I picked up my phone to call her just to really make sure it was only a dream. She answered the phone. I tell ya the moment I heard her voice, I let out a huge breath of relief. I could breath again. In a shaky voice I told her that I love her.
From this dream I experienced something extraordinary. It made me realize how painful it is to lose someone. So I made a promise to myself no matter what, I will not think of anything that could hurt myself, my family nor loved ones.
So if you are reading this n thinking of suicide just remember this-everything happened for a reason and there is always a solution. Look on the bright side and look around you. You may think that you have the worst problem on earth and have no solutions. You may also like to think again that there are many people out there who are facing far more dramatic problems then yours. Examples, People who are facing poverty but still living their life OR people who are sick but still fighting for every second of their life. So why are you wasting your precious life?! Especially if you are young, there are many surprises ahead. Don't let a criticize or tease let you down. I believe everyone has a talent including You, so give yourself a challenge to discover it. Besides, thinking of a way to suicide is hard and a waste of time. During this time you could go out, do something fun. Believe me you'll find something amazing and more worthwhile sweetheart. Personally I met a few great friends and found the love of my life who treats me so well.
Oh have you thought of what could go wrong? Like fail suicide attempt could end you up in a hospital with a broken arm or leg and God knows what. That will only make matters worst for you and your loved ones right? So Keep Your Mind n Heart Open.
Lets be realistic. The main person to help you is you. My advice is don't just sit there alone thinking blah blah blah this n that suicidal stuff but actually go talk to an expert or someone you feel comfortable with. Have a cry and let it all out. This could really help you ease any pain. And like someone said after you help yourself you could then help others along the line. If you really can't talk to anyone, then try to keep yourself busy. Keeping yourself busy will help you from thinking harmful, unhealthy thoughts. If you are not working then find something to do that you enjoy like gardening, cooking, tidy up your room or even writing the ABC's in different styles. There are many ways. As a matter of fact nothing is perfect. Life is all about experimenting what works for you as there is no right to wrong.
Things that make me feel good when I am down are singing, food and shopping! When I'm broke I take a walk, do something I love at home. You might think the following method is a bit freaky or better as friendly social skills but it will work wonders- smile at everyone you see. If they smile back you'll feel good if not it doesn't really matter. Have a good laugh at everything, even when you are angry. Trust me it will cool things down, by then you think more clear and act accordingly.
By the way I ain't no expert. I'm just speaking from the mind from what I learnt and through experiences. Thank you for this wonderful website that allows me to reach out a helping hand (i hope i did). Sorry if it's too long. I really hope this helps anyone thinking along the way to harm themselves. My love sends to you!!! Goodluck and have a happy life.
Remember you will not achieve anything from suicide. Imagine the greater things u can achieve in LIFE.
So what are you waiting for...
Go catch your dreamz...
4 years ago I met the most adorable, sweet, loving girl and loved her right away, right there from the start untill my dying breath.
Even when I've got nothing else, the slimmest chance (even when it's next to nothing) of us getting together and show her every day how much Ilove her and she means to me is enough to get me going.
No reasons for me to not to do it
It isn`t family I care about
I'm not afraid of God (should he exist)
I'm not afraid of the act itself
Reasons why I think I should be burried by now:
A great feeling of injustice that men keeps calling 'justice' prevents me to be able living with even minor comfort in such a society.
In a society which is the total opposite of my own, personal believes and principles, it's hell since I'm getting angry at every irrational, shortsighted, idiotic message that people seem to send out.
Almost all of the people are blinded by possesions, money, all those things that I consider worthless.
there is no reason to live
there is no reason not to live
there is only drama
Besides, trying to find that 'perfect' suicide method is a huge pain.
- im 17 and still young
- im engaged and in a loving relationship
- i have family that love me
- i have pets who need me
- i still want to marry and travel
- i want to discover and learn
You will find stories of hope submitted by people like yourself, and the opportunity to share your story for research and inspiration.
My reason to live: I'm curious to see what will happen next. Life ain't so bad, might as well stick around for a while. Hey, you never know ...
brainwashed, no thought, no empathy.
the main reason to live is to find a reason to live.
everyone is different, and some people are more simple than others.
some, however can think, and that is what makes you different.
use your mind, and your potential, talk to that girl, or find that goal.
if nothing else, find someone, or an idea, to live for.
Everyone who would have met me would have a life less that experience; consequently, their lives may not be as full as they would have been.
I would just have to do it all over again in my next life.
Perhaps, I have forgotten why I am here in the first place.
If you think you are your body and consequently, your living state is so closely tied to it, consider this. How much of the body could be cut away before YOU are no longer there. Quite a bit. You are not your body. So, who are you? And why are you?
Some people dont even have clean water.
This is not the first time I have wanted to die! I have felt defeated, hopeless and alone before. What I must remember is that since that time of despair, I have experienced joy-- feeling loved, happy, and glad to be alive, so I know it is possible to feel joy again. When I was 23, I tried to commit suicide. I woke up in a hospital surrounded by the family and friends that I thought didn't care about me. I was wrong!They had kept a vigil at my bedside for days, praying that I would wake up and be given one more chance at life. The God that I thought had abandoned me heard their prayers and gave me that chance. At the time, I felt so unloved and alone that I couldn't remember or imagine feeling any other way. That was 27 years ago. Since that time, I have known the joy of falling in love, and being loved in return. I have experienced the miracle of giving birth three times, and I have had several deep and meaningful friendships that have filled my heart. I could not have forseen that any of that was possible then. Though my heart is broken now, it has been broken before, and healed. When I tried to take my life, I was mourning the loss of a man whose face I cannot now recall.The man that I am now grieving,-I didn't even know he existed then. And though the loss of him is painful and it feels impossible that I will ever love again, I would gladly go through all of this pain for the experience of falling in love with him again. And though I now feel the sting of the betrayal of friends, I remember the gratitude I felt when first felt the comfort of their companionship. The friends who were my loyal companions, I did not know. I had no plans to have children, so I could not have imagined the joy these three amazing souls brought to my life. I would have missed all of that. When I tried to end my pain, it was because I couldn't see or imagine any possibility of relief from the crippling emotional pain I was in. But just because I can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't possible! Just because I can't imagine it today, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. There is so much more in the world than I can see or feel or imagine at any given time. So if I quit now, who knows what I will miss? I remember holding my daughter right after I had given birth to her. It was little more than a year since my suicide attempt, and here I was, laying in a hospital bed in tears again, only this time they were tears of joy. I held her in my arms with such gratitude and awe, remembering how close I came to missing all of the joy I was feeling. The point is, I don't know what's ahead. Sure, there will probably be more pain, and maybe even more days that I want to die, but they are worth enduring for those moments when I am so grateful to be alive. I would gladly endure all of this heartache for a chance to hold that baby in my arms again--but she is 26 now, so it will never happen. The thing is, I don't know that I won't feel that joy again the first time I hold my first grandchild. Who knows what other joys are ahead of me that I can't even imagine right now. As lousy and lonely and hopeless as I feel right now, I am willing to endure it if it means I have a shot at feeling that kind of love and hope and gratitude again. That's enough to make life worth living for me.
God has a plant to give us hope and a future
WANT TO KISS LUCIA AND SEE HOW SHE REACTS
Reasons to live
- men like me because I`m cute and funny
- my life doesn`t belong to me alone, I need to take care of my parents when they will get old + my dad will die if I die
- I have a beautiful smile and I make people smile
- I`m smart and maybe in the future I`ll become rich.. so I`m curious
- Curiosity : to see what happens next
Reasons to die
- I`m tired
- I overwork myself to have a career but I`m low payed and explotated and the worst of it is that I know this and yet I don`t resign
- My boss temper kills me slowly but sure
- My parents pretend that they don`t notice
- My boyfriend who doesn`t care about my problems, but searches conforting in my arms for his problems
- The problem-free aura I carry around
What stops me to die:
- the thought that maybe what awaits death is just nothingless
- lack of courage to die
- the fear that I might become invalid the fear of pain
- the fear that people might say that the devil brainwashed me and not that this is something I`m planning for a long time
You see, I'm angry because people are so rude, so uncaring, so unreliable, so disinclined to kindness, so quick to bully, ridicule, judge and humiliate others, and so thoughtless about the impact they can have on someone who is fragile. This decision to do something thoughtless or callous 'because they can' does enormous damage to people who are sensitive or traumatised, frightened or tired. I get angry at peoples reluctance to take responsibility for their actions, and consider the impact it would have.
So the logic that saves me every time is this:
If there is ONE person out there who is fragile, and that person happens to know me, like me, think I'm funny, or remember me being kind to them... whether its my cousin's girlfriend, an elderly relative, or a work colleague's eight year old child. then for me to check out, I would be impacting on that person in the worst possible way. I would be guilty of the same irresponsible thoughtlessness that I rant against! I can't bring myself to emulate the thing that makes me so angry. So my only other option is that I have to stick around - because we need to swell the numbers of GOOD people who DO get it. Can't let the bad guys win the world. Sure they sometimes win the battle - and that is infuriating beyond bearing, and I often don't know how to contain it - but LETTING them win the war by dwindling our own number is just utterly unthinkable!
So here's what I'm going to try today. I'm going to go out and do a random act of kindness - because I want the bastards to lose the battle today. I'm going to smile generously at the next person I see, even if they piss me off - just to tip the score in favour of the good guys for one more day.
If you're having one of those stay at home days today - just close your eyes and send me a happiness vibe, a prayer or a luck fairy to spur me on.
It's the best revenge against the half-wits!
Well,...reading Kim's story was comforting, I have never thought I'd still want to kill myself if I owned a house or a brand new car.
I really do not care whether I live or die, but death is so welcome.
Right now I have Master's exams in a month and since I am not assimilating what i am studying, I really want to die. But my girlfriend in another city is coming over to spend her leave with my parents and i, so maybe I want to postpone the thought of death until after that. That is very selfish.
I have a great life, I have like 10 suitors but i can't make up my mind because i have bipolar disorder and I wake up in love with a different person everyday so when i think of marriage i want to kill myself, but I have never had sex before and I am 29 so maybe I will like to stay alive and experience sex within the confines of marriage , thereafter I could die.
Truth is i have no foolproof way to kill myself, and I don't want to be an invalid.
But i have a new make-up and jewelry stash so maybe i will kill myself after I am tired of them.
I basically live for those little joys that never last, I am a Christian but I do not enjoy the joy which the spirit gives. Deep down i really want to stay alive and enjoy every bit of life but I made a mistake in my past that haunts me terribly and each time the hurts comes up, I want to kill myself again.
Please stay alive so you can read my next comment because I enjoy writing what I call gibberish and really think I enjoy the fun people derive from reading them, so please stay alive because life is fun when you cast off your cares.
It never stays the same. I look back on my life and think yes ! I have had quite a full life. So now I am older (old) 63, I do have an illness that affects my health....but I just get on with it. I look at people whom I have known who have committed suicide, and thought they have got out of the pain....but never really seen what could have happened if they had lived.. I do not mean the people who have sadly been addicted to drink or drugs, thats their life ! But even for them there is a choice if they get the strengh to change...Prayer can work.
AND LIVE TO LOVE!
I could relate to the poster, about the only reason to live was to protect her dogs. I feel the same, yet I have a husband, 2 children who are happily married, and 3 grandchildren.
But, I am haunted by how one small mistake derailed the path of my life, and I find myself here at the end, never knowing who I was meant to be. I have never lived alone. I have never been totally responsible for myself.
On the surface, I have nothing to complain about. But, I want, with every fiber of my being to turn the clock back to June of 1969, and never date my ex-husband. I knew instinctively that he wasn't right for me, but when I tried to end it - he said that he would kill himself if I broke up with him. And, so, I felt trapped, responsible, and I stayed. I put him through dental school, shared his Navy career, had 2 beautiful children, did lots of volunteer work, yet never lived. Today, we all know, that if someone says that, get them help. In those days, you did not tell anyone. Yet, maybe if I had, my mother would have rescued me, andn my life would have taken the path it was meant to have. Anyway, today, my good reason to live is a 10 yearl old Yorkie, named Bear, who is dying of heart failure. May God bless and care for you all.
it seemed a copout at the time, but i could only think of a couple of people that i really wanted to live for, but since then i have added alot of other things, small at first like the warmth of a fire, and the taste of fruity things (YUMMY)
admittedly i have enough reasons to stop me from killing myself, but i still drive without a seatbelt and do reckless things and think about it alot...
see how we go aye
To see my daughters make something of their lives
To know my biological mother after she left me for over 52 years
Good luck with your decisions. But if you have a family, a love, a person that knows you exist, that is hope, and give it more thought. I don't.
---I don't know.
---why not experience it by yourself? maybe a miracle is waiting for you😊
---ok.I have a try
I live to give meaning to others affected by tragedies and trauma. I can no longer counsel as I hurt too much. I can just look around for beauty in the little things. it is enough to be where i am at and to look forward to better days ahead.I surround myself with the unconditional love of my dog so I have that joy to share.
So that I can save my marriage and my family.
So that I can leave my mark in this world, and know that it made a difference.
So that I can be the first in my family to break the cycle of abuse.
So I can learn what it is, and how it feels, to be a GOOD mother.
So that I can close my eyes at night, and feel true peace.
- To see the beauty in the world--even if it's just a humble weed growing in a crack of cement, or a glimpse of the sky showing between tall buildings.
- To be able to add to the beauty in the world--even if it's just making tea and toast for a friend, or for yourself. Wipe the table. Fold your napkin. Enjoy your tea.
- To make things better for somebody else--even if it's just a kind smile at a stranger, or holding a door open for the person walking behind you.
- To keep going until you can really shine your light onto the world...because your combination of gifts is unique.
- To be able to say "I had hard times, but I worked my way to better days."
- To be able to pass this on to another person.
- Whoever is reading this, breathe deeply, be assured that you can make a positive difference in the world, and be kind to yourself. Start small and keep going. Life is a gift, even when it's painful. I'm not just saying this--I'm comforting myself at the same time.
Copyright 2008, by Rachel, USA. Feel free to share this--just credit my name and quote me accurately.
Always THINK at the positive angle, believe you can make it in your LIFE
Each day we earn a day whether we are Happy or Sad
so be HAPPY !