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In My Own Words

Life through the eyes of a Christian psychologist.

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      • Abuse Questionnaire Part One
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      • Abuse Questionnaire Part Four
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      • Abuse Questionnaire Final Page
    • Help For Abusers
      • Abusers Are People Too.
      • Is Your Behaviour A Problem?
      • General Advice For Stopping Abuse
      • How To Stop Being Abusive
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      • Why Do People Turn Into Abusers?
      • Why They Hurt The Ones They Love
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  • Articles
    • Communication Formula
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    • Psychology FAQ
    • Relationships FAQ
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    • Credibility FAQ
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    • A List Of Reasons To Live
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  • Transformation
    All Posts,  Psychology,  Relationships

    General Advice For People Wanting Help To Stop Abuse

    September 21, 2009 / No Comments

    This entry is just a generic response to letters from people who want help to stop abuse from happening in their lives.

    Read More

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  • Hurt The Ones They Love
    Articles,  Psychology,  Relationships

    Why They Hurt The Ones They Love

    April 17, 2007 /

    Why does someone repeatedly hurt someone they claim to love? How is it possible for someone to break bones and even kill their partner and still believe they love them? This article tries to shed some light on these questions. Most articles about family violence and abusive relationships focus on educating the targets of violence and abuse about such relationships. In this article I want to focus more on the person performing family violence and on something that has become apparent to me about these relationships. Research has shown one of the main reasons why people put up with abuse in their relationships is pity. The person who is being…

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    October 1, 2012
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  • Fist
    All Posts,  Psychology,  Relationships

    Abusers Are People Too.

    November 12, 2006 / No Comments

    Please don’t ever think abusive people are heartless.  They are not.  I have heard their hearts breaking and their pain is real.  Even more, perhaps, than the average person whose partner walks out.  The abusive person works so hard to gain control over their partner that they are shattered beyond belief when she or he gets away despite everything they have done to ensure that won’t happen. My heart bleeds for them sometimes.  They swear they never hit their partner, never laid a hand on them, and I believe that in some cases. What they don’t understand is you don’t have to actually hit someone to be an abuser.  There…

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    December 14, 2006
  • Self Care
    All Posts,  Life Skills,  Psychology

    Abuse, Self-Harm And An Umbrella.

    October 30, 2006 / No Comments

    In this entry I explore my theory that abuse is like rain. It falls on everyone. Life skills such as knowledge, assertiveness, and help-seeking create an umbrella to help protect us from it.

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    November 18, 2006

SPOTLIGHT POST

  • Welcome to my world.Welcome to my world.

Reason to Live

  • Daisy
    You'll never know what would've happened. Help and joy might have been 5 minutes away, but it'll be too late. You'll have made a rash...
  • Alla
    I've seen the grief of a parent who has lost their child and I would never put my mom through that pain. When she passes,...
  • Deb
    My #1 reason to live is what if I am wrong. When I've gotten severely depressed, the reason I wanted to die was so that...
  • Rae
    I am a traumatically brain injured adult and have suffered more social abuse and personal relationship abuse then I care to go into. I definitely...
  • Tammy Ricks
    what if I'm wrong. What if what I was born for is right there, that's why all hell has come against me. I have been...

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