Articles
Articles I have written about various information points.
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Why They Hurt The Ones They Love
Why does someone repeatedly hurt someone they claim to love? How is it possible for someone to break bones and even kill their partner and still believe they love them? This article tries to shed some light on these questions. Most articles about family violence and abusive relationships focus on educating the targets of violence and abuse about such relationships. In this article I want to focus more on the person performing family violence and on something that has become apparent to me about these relationships. Research has shown one of the main reasons why people put up with abuse in their relationships is pity. The person who is being…
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About Abusive People
If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked the following questions I would be a very rich woman. “Why do people treat me badly?” “Why do people behave the way they do?” “Why do people use other people?” “Why does someone hurt the people they are supposed to love?” “Why can’t people respect other people?” “Why does an abuser always blame someone else?” “Why can’t people admit when they are wrong?” “Why do people turn into abusers? People often want to know why people use and abuse others. The first four questions listed above are all very similar and can be expressed as why does someone hurt…
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Learned Helplessness
During the 1970’s a researcher named Martin Seligman discovered a curious side-effect of some experiments he was performing on dogs. In these experiments he had three groups of dogs. One group was placed, one at a time, into a cage that had an electrified floor and no way to escape from the shocks delivered to them through the floor. A second group was placed in the same set-up but they had the option of jumping over a barrier to get away from the electric shocks. The third group were not exposed to electric shocks at all. After delivering shocks to the first two groups Seligman then put them all, one…
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Everyone Needs A Mental Health Safety Net
Mental Health Defenders And Mental Health Saboteurs. The diagram above illustrates what can be either mental health defenders or mental health saboteurs. These are six areas of life that can help protect people from mental health problems but they can also make people more vulnerable to them. They can work to help people recover from problems or push them deeper into distress. The healthier these areas of life are the better equipped people will be to deal with the things that happen to them. The mental health defenders can be like a ring of defenses surrounding a person. The more of these you have around you the more protected you…
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Family Violence
Family Violence — Also Known As Domestic Violence Family Violence (FV) is the term now being used for what used to be called Domestic Violence (DV). The new term recognises violence is not always confined to the home and the people living there. Family violence is not usually a once off incident. It tends to be the usual way a family deals with things. Family violence can occur between couples whether they are the same sex or opposite sexes with either, or both, partners being violent but family violence is not confined to partners. Children can become violent towards parents, grandparents, brothers or sisters. Other relatives may enter the home…
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Grief and Loss
About Grief and Loss. Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of someone we care about but it is also a natural reaction to the loss of anything we truly value. Everyone knows people will grieve the loss of a loved one but people can also grieve the loss of a pet, a job, a house and their health. It is not uncommon for people to grieve the loss of a relationship or a marriage even when they no longer love the person they were with. The grief these losses can cause may be as distressing and acute as the grief that occurs when the loss is due to…
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Communication Formula
The first rule of good communication is this: The Only Person You Can Change Is Yourself! This does not mean other people can’t change — it just means you can’t change them! All you can do is communicate with them and see if they are willing to try and change. Good communication involves more than just telling someone you don’t like what they are doing. You need to be precise about three things for good communication. Good communication makes change possible so let the other person know: What they are doing wrong — be specific. How they are making you feel — be specific. What you would like them to…
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How To Find An Entry You Want
Have you arrived at this blog page from a search only to find the page has nothing to do with what you were looking for? If so you have arrived after the entry you seek has become an old entry and is no longer on the front page of the blog. I’m sorry about that but don’t despair. The entry you want is here somewhere and it won’t be hard to find. If you look towards the top of this page you will see, on the left side of the menu bar, there are three vertical lines. On the right side of the menu bar there is a small magnifying glass…
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How To Ask Kim For Advice
Asking For Help or Advice. Visitors are able to ask me for help by using the “Contact” form, directly on the Advice page, or by email to kim(at)wordsbykim.com but be aware the help I can give is VERY limited. Getting help from a psychologist is not the same as asking a friend for advice. A friend will give whatever advice comes to mind based on what you say about the problem. A psychologist wants to know as much detail as possible because a lot of things make a difference to the sort of direction a person may need to take to solve their problems. Step One To ask for help…
