Reason to Live Wall

A Reason To Live Wall

The aim of this wall is to give those who do have a reason to go on living a chance to share their reason with those who have none of their own. With your help we might be able to give suicidal people something to help them carry on. Maybe they can take your reason for living and use it as a reason to keep going themselves.

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Every day there are thousands of people all over the world who can’t think of a single good reason to go on living. Each human being is unique, one of a kind, totally irreplaceable and suicide is a dreadful waste of human potential. Help is available. The suicidal person just needs to live long enough to find it but that can be hard to do when you feel nobody cares and there is no hope.

If you are suicidal, read the wall, know it was created to give you encouragement, a bit of hope or the incentive you need to keep trying. Know that every person who added their own reason to live here was thinking of you and added it in the hope it would help you go on in the face of your despair and exhaustion.

Know that people DO care, you DO matter, you CAN be helped and call your doctor, a counsellor or your local suicide help line.

Reach out and touch someone today.

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Already Gone...and back Already Gone...and back wrote on January 30, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Reason Not To Kill Myself Today:

This is not the first time I have wanted to die! I have felt defeated, hopeless and alone before. What I must remember is that since that time of despair, I have experienced joy-- feeling loved, happy, and glad to be alive, so I know it is possible to feel joy again.  When I was 23, I tried to commit suicide. I woke up in a hospital surrounded by the family and friends that I thought didn't care about me. I was wrong!They had kept a vigil at my bedside for days, praying that I would wake up and be given one more chance at life. The God that I thought had abandoned me heard their prayers and gave me that chance. At the time, I felt so unloved and alone that I couldn't remember or imagine feeling any other way. That was 27 years ago. Since that time, I have known the joy of falling in love, and being loved in return. I have experienced the miracle of giving birth three times, and I have had several deep and meaningful friendships that have filled my heart. I could not have forseen that any of that was possible then. Though my heart is broken now, it has been broken before, and healed.  When I tried to take my life, I was mourning the loss of a man whose face I cannot now recall.The man that I am now grieving,-I didn't even know he existed then. And though the loss of him is painful and it feels impossible that I will ever love again, I would gladly go through all of this pain for the experience of falling in love with him again. And though I now feel the sting of the betrayal of friends, I remember the gratitude I felt when first felt the comfort of their companionship. The friends who were my loyal companions, I did not know. I  had no plans to have children, so I could not have imagined the joy these three amazing souls brought to my life. I would have missed all of that.  When I tried to end my pain, it was because I couldn't see or imagine any possibility of relief from the crippling emotional pain I was in. But just because I can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't possible! Just because I can't imagine it today, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. There is so much more in the world than I can see or feel or imagine at any given time. So if I quit now, who knows what I will miss? I remember holding my daughter right after I had given birth to her. It was little more than a year since my suicide attempt, and here I was, laying in a hospital bed in tears again, only this time they were tears of joy. I held her in my arms with such gratitude and awe, remembering how close I came to missing all of the joy I was feeling.  The point is, I don't know what's ahead. Sure, there will probably be more pain, and maybe even more days that I want to die, but they are worth enduring for those moments when I am so grateful to be alive. I would gladly endure all of this heartache for a chance to hold that baby in my arms again--but she is 26 now, so it will never happen. The thing is, I don't know that I won't feel that joy again the first time I hold my first grandchild. Who knows what other joys are ahead of me that I can't even imagine right now. As lousy and lonely and hopeless as I feel right now, I am willing to endure it if it means I have a shot at feeling that kind of love and hope and gratitude again. That's enough to make life worth living for me.
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