All Posts,  Parenting

Maternal Pride

My children and I are currently looking for a place we can rent together to share expenses.  We want a place with a bungalow or granny flat out the back so I can have my own space and they can share the house.  They said that way they will be able to say they do not still live with their mother – she lives with them.

I have refrained from pointing out their failure to reproduce means I am not a granny yet.

My children are fussy about who they will date and they have a great friendship with each other.  This means they are not desperate for the support and company a partner could offer so they can afford to be fussy.

I am proud of the fact they are fussy but I am getting desperate.  I crave a grandchild.

I used to shake my head in dismay at parents who nagged their children about when they were going to have kids but now I understand.  Every once in a while I long for the feel of a baby in my arms.

The other night I was wondering if there was some way to swap cultures so I could arrange a marriage for each of my two children.  I thought about the couple that used to live next door to my kids.  They were from India and the wife said their marriage had been arranged for them.  She said she didn’t even meet her husband until just before they married but she also said they were happy together.

I’m sure I could choose partners for my children who would be a good match and they would be happy too.

That sparked a little fantasy.  I would advertise in all the major newspapers and, perhaps, even on the internet for a son and a daughter in law.  My children are, of course, the best.

A man would be lucky to have my daughter and the woman who gets my son will be lucky too.  If the world knew what treasures they are the list of applicants for the positions would take me years to wade through!

There are a lot of lonely people out there.  A lot of people who are wondering where all the decent men and women are.  I know where there are two genuinely nice, loving, loyal, honest, faithful, intelligent, caring, wonderful people and I really don’t understand why they have not been snapped up years ago.

I would be a perfect mother-in-law too.  I would mind my own business as long as no abuse was happening.  I would be fair.  I would be as supportive of my children’s partners as I am of my children.

They would never lack a reliable, trustworthy, CHEAP baby sitter that’s for sure.

So I mentally composed the advertisement or tried to but then I realised – my kids would never stand for me treating them like commodities.  Perhaps that is what is wrong – they do not see themselves as marketable objects so they make no attempt to “sell” themselves.

My daughter has gorgeous hair but she is practical.  She keeps it tied up and we rarely see it.  You couldn’t PAY her to wear a mini-skirt or show her cleavage!

My son treats every woman like she is his sister.  He teases them and they tend to view him as a friend rather than a romantic possibility.

Neither one of my children fits the social stereotype of what it is to be a man or woman.

My daughter wound her car window up on the arm of a man who was threatening to stab her if she didn’t get out of her car and let him take it.  He ended up begging her to let him go!  She never cries for herself but she cries for me or her brother any time we are hurting.

My son looks tough and he is more than capable of taking care of himself but his maternal instinct is stronger than mine!  He turns into mush and acts like a clucky hen at the mere sight of a baby.  He once told his best friend off in no uncertain terms for trying to force his two-year-old daughter to give him a goodbye kiss.  He said “They are her lips and nobody should make her put them anywhere she does not want to!”

Neither of my children is rich and they are not blue-eyed, blonde, stereotypical gorgeous looking but they are the most wonderful people it has ever been my privilege, and pleasure, to meet.

The only way they are ever likely to get married, I think, is if someone takes the time to make friends with them before trying to win their hearts.  In this world of “Hi, nice to meet you, my place or yours?” it could be a long wait before I hear a child call me granny.

My main consolation is when they do find the right partners there will be no risk of losing my grandchildren, like so many people do, through divorce.  They will choose partners who, like them, will always put the children first and never cut them off from people who love them no matter what happens.

I’m proud of my children.  I don’t think I tell them that often enough so this entry is for them.

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