Talk about paint myself into a corner. I said in previous entries the only fun I have is playing the pokies and now I have promised my kids I won’t play them again for the rest of the year. I never break my promises so there goes the only fun I have these days.
It’s not like I can turn to food for consolation either thanks to going on this diet again.
I have no close friends I could visit or do things with so the rest of this year looks pretty grim to me right now.
Last night I tried to lose myself in computer games and you should hear the noise my computer is making! It sounds like it’s on its last legs. That was the last straw.
I tossed and turned all night wondering what I can do with myself over the next three days as I’m not working again until Tuesday. I put some music on and that was when it hit me.
What has happened to me? I used to have no problems with one night stands. I never used to think of how a guy would fit into the rest of my life so why am I doing it now?
This morning I realised this month makes thirteen years since my ex moved out and our marriage technically ended. It also makes eleven years since I last got laid.
Nine years ago I met the man I wanted to end the sex drought with but he wasn’t interested and it has been eight years since I last saw him.
What am I waiting for?
If I’m waiting for him to come back, or for Mr Right to appear, I am being really stupid! I’ll never see him again and there is no Mr Right. Why am I being so uptight and straight laced?
One night stands can be fun.
There were at two men at the place I went dancing the other month who I thought were attractive. Maybe they wouldn’t fancy me but maybe they would if I met their eyes and smiled.
Maybe, if I let my hair down and have a few drinks, I won’t be as quickly turned off by a less than ideal personality and I could have a bit of fun before it’s too late.
Maybe, if I have enough to drink, more than two guys in a room full of men will look good enough to sleep with hehehe.
My sex drive has returned since I stopped taking antidepressants so that should help.
I’m going to give it a shot!
Tonight I’m going to get laid.
That’s the plan anyway but I wouldn’t put it past God to arrange for tonights crowd to be the ugliest group of men ever to gather in one place! Meaning they will all have short hair hehehe.
I like shoulder length hair on a man so I hope the two men I saw there before will be there again tonight.
I’ve ridden my high horse for long enough. Tonight I want to ride something else for a change.
OK. Decision made. Now I better get some more beauty sleep since I need as much of that as I can get. Tonight I will get stuck into my eyebrows and leg hairs, find some make-up and something to wear, douse myself in perfume and hope I can make the grade in the meat market.
Better turn my electric blanket on so I won’t get cold feet between now and tonight hehehe.