Toilet Paper Dags And Other Product Complaints.

I discovered there is a service to businesses called relevantnoise.  Apparently they monitor blogs for mention of the names of businesses so they can find out what the public thinks before the proverbial hits the fan hehehe.

How sneaky is that?  Good idea though.  I decided, as a blog writer, now is my chance to get all my complaints about various businesses off my chest in the hope relevantnoise will spot their names and pass the info on to them.

Where do I start!

OK – here’s my number one pet peeve – toilet paper dags!

Here’s a heads up all you toilet paper companies – Bouquets, Homebrand, Kleenex, Naturale, Purex, Quilton, Safe, Sorbent, and Wondersoft – soft is wonderful but bring back STRONG!

Hands up anyone else who hates toiletpaper dags?

Oh – you are not all going to be Australian so I guess I need to explain what a toiletpaper dag is and, to do that, I need to explain what a dag is.

A dag is a lock of wool hanging around a sheeps bottom that has been impregnated with faeces.

A toilet paper dag is the name I have given to the little balls or rolls of toilet paper that break away and stick to hair, skin or poo as you wipe.  You sometimes find these revolting little things in your bed or undies or you feel them when you wash your bum in the shower.  The softer the toilet tissue the more toilet paper dags you end up with.  Kleenex Cottonelle toilet paper leaves the highest number of toilet paper dags it has ever been my misfortune to encounter so far!  Kleenex Cottonelle leaves toilet paper dags after EVERY use not just when wiping the bum!  My daughter just finished using this brand and says she had the same problem with it.  Neither of us will ever buy it again!  There is just something so incredibly WRONG about having to pick your bum, AND your fanny, clean of toilet paper dags after wiping!

For many years I kept silent about toilet paper dags because I believed I was the only person in the world who suffered from them.  One day I mentioned them to my daughter and she wanted to know what they were so I explained.  She said “So THAT’S what they are called!”

Since then I have mentioned them to one or two people and they also knew exactly what I was talking about so I no longer feel like I am the only person who suffers from them.  There used to be a toilet paper brand that marketed themselves as strong but they left toilet paper dags too.  The best of a bad bunch was Sorbents Kids range but I don’t seem to be able to buy that any more.

To all the toilet paper companies out there – I am a loyal customer – if you make me a toilet paper that will not leave toilet paper dags I will never buy anyone else’s toilet paper even if yours is out of stock!  I will go elsewhere to find yours if I have to!  My daughter will buy it too so there’s two customers at least.  PLEASE!  I will happily sacrifice a bit of the softness for zero toiletpaper dags!

Right – who is next on my list?

Pantene!  Pantene is really pushing the limit of my brand loyalty at the moment!  Some big-wig has clearly been hired to do an overhaul to increase their share of the market so they have done a big product revamp.  Excuse me!  They did one not long ago!  Every time they revamp my conditioner they rename it and put it in a different coloured bottle and I waste money trying to find it again.  NOT HAPPY!  Be warned Pantene – one more revamp and I am ditching you for good.  If I ditch you it will be your name I ditch because the brand Pantene will go onto my blacklist and stay there forever!

L’Oreal is another brand I have a grudge against.  I use their Excellence hair dye and they have also pushed me to my limit!  First they revamped the dye and took the conditioner out.  I guess they had to do it because the makers took the conditioner off the market entirely!  That was the only conditioner in the world that made my hair as soft as it was when I was young!  Pantene comes close but even it doesn’t do as good a job as that one used to.

I forgave L’Oreal for that change and I forgave them for the packaging change because the new gloves were an improvement but then they revamped the colours and took the one I was using off the market altogether!  That resulted in YEARS of trying new colours trying to find the right one until my long hair was striped various different shades!  It got so bad I had to cut it all off and start again.  OK – my fault for not realising permanent colour was not a good idea when trying to find the right shade.  I still carry a massive grudge against L’Oreal for the loss of my lovely long hair though and, if they make any more changes, I will blacklist them entirely!  As it is now I don’t trust them.  I use their dye because it is what I am used to but I refuse to risk getting used to anything else they make in case they do the same thing to me with that.  Every time I hear their slogan “Because you’re worth it” I snort my disbelief. If they really thought I was worth anything they would respect me enough to not impose changes on me without warning or explanation!

There’s a tip for all product makers out there.  If you want brand loyalty show us a bit of customer loyalty and respect!  If you HAVE to make changes to a product don’t bullshit us that you are doing it for our good – to give us more value for money or a better product.

I don’t buy a product repeatedly because it isn’t what I want or isn’t good enough as it is so I hate it when you change it in any way!

If you MUST change it – WARN me well in advance and tell me why!  Do everything you can to make it easy for me to find it if the new version looks different.  Put a picture of the new version on the old one for a few months before you change it or something.

I have already written an entry about how angry I was to find out the Woolworths Safeway consortium is profitting from the destruction of people’s lives and families through their ownership of gambling profits.  I remain angry and disgusted.  So far their involvement with the gambling industry has cost them around 400.00 per week in grocery and cigarette purchases that I now go to Bi Lo to make plus the office chair I didn’t buy from them and assorted items of clothing I didn’t buy from them.

That is, of course, less than the amount of money I would have lost gambling if I had not managed to kick the addiction.  They can well afford to lose me as a customer given the massive income they get from gambling profits I guess.  It’s just that I am revolted by the thought that a grocery store, a family icon, is party to an industry that has led to suicide, imprisonment and the death of children in gambling venue parking lots!  I will continue to boycott them until I hear their hands are no longer blood-stained.

Ahhh.  I feel much better getting all that off my chest.  I hope relevantnoise.com will hear my puny voice and pass my opinions on to the above mentioned companies.  I hope the companies will hear me too.  I don’t expect Woolworths Safeway to take any notice but I do hope, with all my heart, the toilet paper companies will start making toilet paper that will be strong enough to set me free forever from toilet paper dags!