To listen to your new favourite music band's next album. Music is life whether you're a part of or just a listener!

Today because I'm working thru things with a trusted therapist -- I believe that she believes it will get better. And that is enough for today.

Right now I really want to give up life maybe because I`m too tired so I made a list with my reasons to live and reasons to die:
Reasons to live:
- men like me because I`m cute and funny
- my life doesn`t belong to me alone, I need to take care of my parents when they will get old + my dad will die if I die
- I have a beautiful smile and I make people smile
- I`m smart and maybe in the future I`ll become rich.. so I`m curious
- Curiosity : to see what happens next
Reasons to die:
- I`m tired
- I overwork myself to have a career but I`m low payed and explotated and the worst of it is that I know this and yet I don`t resign
- My boss temper kills me slowly but sure
- My parents pretend that they don`t notice
- My boyfriend who doesn`t care about my problems, but searches conforting in my arms for his problems
- The problem-free aura I carry around

What stops me to die:
- the thought that maybe what awaits death is just nothingless
- lack of courage to die
- the fear that I might become invalid & the fear of pain
- the fear that people might say that the devil brainwashed me and not that this is something I`m planning for a long time

I've had a pretty keen sense of justice all my life. So keen, that my anger at injustice, and my feelings of impotence have often triggered depression episodes. Maybe you know how that goes - but anger always seems to be first - then, when I can't maintain that high-energy feeling any longer - I sink into depression.  I'm often so disgusted by the ubiquitous  injustice I see inflicted on others, and the injustices large and small I have experienced myself, that I consider checking out in disgust - but to be honest, I think LOGIC saves me, and gives me the reason I need to fight through.

You see, I'm angry because people are so rude, so uncaring, so unreliable, so disinclined to kindness, so quick to bully, ridicule, judge and humiliate others, and so thoughtless about the impact they can have on someone who is fragile. This decision to do something thoughtless or callous 'because they can' does enormous damage to people who are sensitive or traumatised, frightened or tired. I get angry at peoples reluctance to take responsibility for their actions, and consider the impact it would have.

So the logic that saves me every time is this:

If there is ONE person out there who is fragile, and that person happens to know me, like me, think I'm funny, or remember me being kind to them... whether its my cousin's girlfriend, an elderly relative, or a work colleague's eight year old child.  then for me to check out, I would be impacting on that person in the worst possible way.  I would be guilty of the same irresponsible thoughtlessness that I rant against! I can't bring myself to emulate the thing that makes me so angry. So my only other option is that I have to stick around - because we need to swell the numbers of GOOD people who DO get it. Can't let the bad guys win the world. Sure they sometimes win the battle - and that is infuriating beyond bearing, and I often don't know how to contain it - but LETTING them win the war by dwindling our own number is just utterly unthinkable!

So here's what I'm going to try today. I'm going to go out and do a random act of kindness - because I want the bastards to lose the battle today. I'm going to smile generously at the next person I see, even if they piss me off - just to tip the score in favour of the good guys for one more day.

If you're having one of those stay at home days today - just close your eyes and send me a happiness vibe, a prayer or a luck fairy to spur me on.
It's the best revenge against the half-wits!

xx Dishy

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HE IS THE BEST THING I HAVE KNOWN IN A LONG TIME I ALSO LOVE MY BROTHER AND HIS CHILDREN AND I WANT TO BE THEIR FOR THEM!! I KNO IT WOULD HURT MY BROTHER IF I EVER LEFT TTHIS WORLD TO EARLY! I LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD AND WISH YOU WERE HERE EVERYDAY!!

Being there to teach my 4 year old to be nice to peope and himself.

The most profound reason I will like to stay alive is because I love the effect I have on people when i walk into a room, I am beautiful...but I don't maintain relationships so i ave a ton of friends I really couldn't care less about. Well,...reading Kim's story was comforting, I have never thought I'd still want to kill myself if I owned a house or a brand new car. I really do not care whether I live or die, but death is so welcome. Right now I have Master's exams in a month and since I am not assimilating what i am studying, I really want to die. But my girlfriend in another city is coming over to spend her leave with my parents and i, so maybe I want to postpone the thought of death until after that. That is very selfish. I have a great life, I have like 10 suitors but i can't make up my mind because i have bipolar disorder and I wake up in love with a different person everyday so when i think of marriage i want to kill myself, but I have never had sex before and I am 29 so maybe I will like to stay alive and experience sex within the confines of marriage , thereafter I could die. Truth is i have no foolproof way to kill myself, and I don't want to be an invalid. But i have a new make-up and jewelry stash so maybe i will kill myself after I am tired of them. I basically live for those little joys that never last, I am a Christian but I do not enjoy the joy which the spirit gives. Deep down i really want to stay alive and enjoy every bit of life but I made a mistake in my past that haunts me terribly and each time the hurts comes up, I want to kill myself again. Please stay alive so you can read my next comment because I enjoy writing what I call gibberish and really think I enjoy the fun people derive from reading them, so please stay alive because life is fun when you cast off your cares.

My reason to live: I want to find someone who can make me smile just by seeing their face, who can make my thoughts of ending it all disappear with just a touch. I want to find that perosn and thank them for saving me.

I wish I had to weakness to kill myself.....or is it the fact.....that my strengh to live is ..is more than wanting to die.  I also know that life

always changes.  It never stays the same.   I look back on my life and think yes !  I have had quite a full life. So now I am older (old) 63,

I do have an illness that affects my health....but I just get on with it.  I look at people whom I have known who have committed suicide,

and thought they have got out of the pain....but never really seen what could have happened if they had lived..    I do not mean the people

who have sadly been addicted to drink or drugs,  thats their life !  But even for them there  is a choice if they get the strengh to change...Prayer

can work. 

LOVE LIFE

AND LIVE TO LOVE!

I do not believe in God, and thus do not believe in Hell. I am not afraid to die because I may go to Hell. That is not my fear. The truth is, one who does not believe in an afterlife has much more to fear than anyone religious, whether they are destined to go to Heaven or Hell, because one who does not share such supernatural beliefs has to accept, to themselves, that when they die, all that awaits them is nothingness. I fear nothingness.

I couldn't hurt my loved ones like my sister hurt me when she took her own life

It is amazing what one can find, when one types in the query: show me a reason to live. I read your posts, and I know that I am not alone. I suspect that I am older than you, and I am currently under the care of a psychiatrist who thinks that all emotional pain can be cured by Cymbalta.

I could relate to the poster, about the only reason to live was to protect her dogs. I feel the same, yet I have a husband, 2 children who are happily married, and 3 grandchildren.

But, I am haunted by how one small mistake derailed the path of my life, and I find myself here at the end, never knowing who I was meant to be. I have never lived alone. I have never been totally responsible for myself.

On the surface, I have nothing to complain about. But, I want, with every fiber of my being to turn the clock back to June of 1969, and never date my ex-husband. I knew instinctively that he wasn't right for me, but when I tried to end it - he said that he would kill himself if I broke up with him. And, so, I felt trapped, responsible, and I stayed. I put him through dental school, shared his Navy career, had 2 beautiful children, did lots of volunteer work, yet never lived. Today, we all know, that if someone says that, get them help. In those days, you did not tell anyone. Yet, maybe if I had, my mother would have rescued me, andn my life would have taken the path it was meant to have. Anyway, today, my good reason to live is a 10 yearl old Yorkie, named Bear, who is dying of heart failure. May God bless and care for you all.

My reasons to live started out with my dying would be an insult to all those people much worse off than me in poverty...

it seemed a copout at the time, but i could only think of a couple of people that i really wanted to live for, but since then i have added alot of other things, small at first like the warmth of a fire, and the taste of fruity things (YUMMY)

admittedly i have enough reasons to stop me from killing myself, but i still drive without a seatbelt and do reckless things and think about it alot...

see how we go aye

Love is our birthright.  Whether I feel it towards myself or not right now, the question becomes would I kill someone I love.  If the answer is no, there must be some way to internalize that towards ourselves, to love the unloved places.

To help others live for Christ and to be a living testimony for God
To see my daughters make something of their lives
To know my biological mother after she left me for over 52 years

--- you know what will happen tomorrow?

---I don't know.

---why not experience it by yourself? maybe a miracle is waiting for you

---ok.I have a try

Who would take care of my dogs the way they need to. That is my only reason as of now. The rest is all reasons NOT taking into account that you are financially broken, emotionally raped, physically in pain, there is no end in sight for the pain, physical or emotional, and you have NO social support system.  The last fricking thing someone that is this morbid feels like doing is going out to make new friends!

Good luck with your decisions. But if you have a family, a love, a person that knows you exist, that is hope, and give it more thought. I don't.

Just to deprive the dark forces of the satisfaction of making you lose all hope and kill yourself.

My mummy loves me

There will allways be some one who loves you

I live moment to moment and live to make something meaningful out of tragedies.  I will not be who I was before but every day I choose to believe that something good is yet to come.

I live to give meaning to others affected by tragedies and trauma. I can no longer counsel as I hurt too much.  I can just look around for beauty in the little things.  it is enough to be where i am at and to look forward to better days ahead.

I surround myself with the unconditional love of my dog so I have that joy to share.

So that I can help others. So that I can save my marriage and my family. So that I can leave my mark in this world, and know that it made a difference. So that I can be the first in my family to break the cycle of abuse. So I can learn what it is, and how it feels, to be a GOOD mother. So that I can close my eyes at night, and feel true peace.

Good reasons to live:
To see the beauty in the world--even if it's just a humble weed growing in a crack of cement, or a glimpse of the sky showing between tall buildings.
To be able to add to the beauty in the world--even if it's just making tea and toast for a friend, or for yourself. Wipe the table. Fold your napkin. Enjoy your tea.
To make things better for somebody else--even if it's just a kind smile at a stranger, or holding a door open for the person walking behind you.
To keep going until you can really shine your light onto the world...because your combination of gifts is unique.
To be able to say "I had hard times, but I worked my way to better days."
To be able to pass this on to another person.
Whoever is reading this, breathe deeply, be assured that you can make a positive difference in the world, and be kind to yourself. Start small and keep going. Life is a gift, even when it’s painful. I'm not just saying this--I'm comforting myself at the same time.

Thank you for running this Web site. Would you consider starting a wall where people could post their responses to the "reason to live wall?"

Copyright 2008, by Rachel, USA. Feel free to share this--just credit my name and quote me accurately.

One of my big reasons to live is my family (my sister, my two brothers, my niece and nephew). My parents passed away eleven years ago and my life have been full of obstacles, but everytime I face a difficult situation I think on my family. They expect great things from me and I can not defraud them. In difficult times when I feel alone I also think on my parents and I remember those wonderful moments that we shared together. Remembering those moments make me feel that my parents are still next to me. My dream of transfering to a four year college next semester is another reason to live. By writing this sentences my mind and my heart is starting to find more and more reasons to live. Lifeis so short that we have to make sure that we find a reason to live in everything we do, and in everyone who is around us. I learned that in life there are not mistakes only lessons.

POTTERY!

If your going through hell, keep going, because someday there will be a better time. : D

To see my grandchildren someday!

Life is so beautiful

 Always THINK at the positive angle, believe you can make it in your LIFE. 

Each day we earn a day whether we are Happy or Sad

so be HAPPY !

        Hope         

To beat the cancer i have!

watching my kidz smile and laugh

LOVE!

                       Family, Adventure, The Future!

My reason to live is the thought of how my family would miss me if I wasn't here.

Beautiful Sunsets

My little girl